“Realizing I deserved better changed everything.”
But I realized that I have three different PMS cycles that correlate with exactly how horrible my period will be.
1. Popcorn and Chocolate Milk
This is all I want to eat. I am sad and I get mad about things that happened six months ago while crying gross booger filled tears into my Hershey’s 2% delightful drink. The period is usually accompanied with my WORST cramps and a tension headache that no amount of Excedrin (fuck Advil) and yelling at my boyfriend can fix.
2. Chinese Food and Taco Bell
The PMS usually consists of General Tso’s with extra spicy egg fried rice and a number seven, chicken, with a hard taco and a fruit punch. I consume these meals at least three times in that next week and yes I do go to the gym thanks so that bloating is just fruit punch and my swollen angry uterus. The following period isn’t so bad…does anyone else get those cramps and they aren’t terrible enough so that you think it’s a period cramp you just kind of get it confused with a poopie cramp?
3. Lizard’s Thicket and Sriracha
Collard greens. It’s all I want. I don’t eat red meat and I will go to aforementioned LT and get a country fried steak with extra gravy and three sides of collard greens. I will go home and make collard greens just boiled in sriracha. I’ll make hashbrowns just so I can smother them in sriracha. I will watch a lot of One Tree Hill and for some reason only bleed for three days on this one but I like to milk it out and use it as an excuse to still be somewhat mean because my boyfriend doesn’t know that this period doesn’t last the usual 6 days of “don’t come home.”
Anyways I am perioding right now and it just blew my mind and my cat is at my dads so I couldn’t tell her about this.
“I don’t care about anyone, and the feeling is quite obviously mutual.”
“We don’t forget,
but something vacant settles in us.”